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Growing up in front of the television must have altered my view of the office holiday party. I always imagined a group of people dancing, drinking, and sitting on top of the copy machine.
When I grew up (and I use that term loosely) I realized that most of these parties happen outside the office where there are no copiers. But there is still plenty of drinking and dancing, in fact if you get me going on the ‘04 Holiday Party I won’t shut up for like a two hours.
So let’s not dwell on the past, even though brighter economic times definitely made for a more amusing holiday get-together. These days few companies can afford the high-dollar, open bar celebrations that I used to enjoy.
If that’s happened to you, you can choose to sit at home on a Saturday night, or you can choose to make someone else’s holiday party your own!
No idea where I’m going with this? Think Wedding Crashers but substitute the wedding part with the words Holiday Party.
Then take the word Crashers and replace it with something that doesn’t sound as harsh, like Employees You Didn’t Know You Worked With.
It’s the perfect low-cost way to celebrate the holiday season, and the best part is, you can have your pick from any number of hotels on any given weekend!
The trick is to choose a location that has a lot of ballroom space, or somewhere with a big convention area. It doesn’t have to be on the Strip either; a lot of Las Vegas companies are hosting holiday parties at local casinos. It all depends on whether you’re in the mood to mingle with strangers from out of town, or if you’d really like to make new friends and do some holiday networking.
Like any successful mission, planning is essential.
Always choose a big company with a big party. Avoid law firms, those tend to be smaller, and those people are lawyers so if you end up busted, you knows what you’re in for. Big companies, like gaming companies, can still afford to rent out those ballrooms with a dance floor and DJ.
First thing you’ll need to decide is the wardrobe. This is a holiday party so you’ll likely have the urge to go with something festive. I can’t speak for the ladies but I will tell the guys that sweaters are out of the question. Not only do they up your chances of being mistaken for an unwelcome guest, they just don’t send out the message that you’re somebody important, somebody who may be so high up in the company that it’s likely most of these people have never met you.
The old adage “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” also applies to holiday parties. That’s why I’m a big believer in the three-piece suit.
If you’re wearing something festive make it the tie, but don’t, don’t choose a tie with any sort of holiday pattern. This is Las Vegas, you can do better. Besides, a holiday-themed tie will only make you stick out, when the key is to blend in.
When you arrive, arrive late, definitely when dinner is winding down. The last thing you want to do is get stuck at that table of office misfits, you know the ones that don’t belong to any of the cliques and nobody wants to sit with. Don’t be that guy. Show up late and show up with drink in hand. Make it look like you’ve been wandering around the hotel for a while, enjoying the casino while everyone is eating.
You want to blend in just enough so people might think “Hey I’ve never seen that guy, but he’s dressed like James Bond.” You don’t want them to think “Hey I’ve never seen that guy and he’s eating all of our food.” Don’t worry, just because you’re not getting a full meal doesn’t mean you’re missing out on the holiday party experience.
Before you make your entrance into the ballroom, stop by and have your picture taken at the holiday display. Don’t ask for extra copies, because again, you don’t want to make a big deal about it. Just pose for the photographer and pick up the picture when you leave.
Then it’s time to make your entrance. It helps to have that drink in one hand and a date on your arm, that way you’re not some lonely guy wandering into a party. Besides having that extra person there draws eyes away from you.
Walk in with a smile, a confident smile that says “I belong here.” Spend a few minutes working the room, making your way from bar to bar. Don’t linger too long at one location and keep your hellos to a minimum.
If anyone gets suspicious and asks who you are, be quick with a response. Don’t be afraid to use your real name, this isn’t the F.B.I. holiday party or it would have been tougher to get in.
When it comes to questions, it helps to have a combination of words and phrases handy. Just insert any of these into your sentences to sound credible:
- Johnson from accounting
- Merger
- Gladys in payroll
- My tech stocks are in the toilet!
- My brother-in-law works at that firm!
- The (insert name of team or company here) paid off huge last week!
- Layoffs
That last one can instantly get you off the hook in any conversation. These days any mention of layoffs and people will leave you alone. They might even get scared that you’re the C.E.O. from out of town and they’ll want to buy you a drink! Who’s to say you’re not him, you’re wearing a three-piece suit!
So now that you’ve done all your mingling, it’s time to make your way to the dance floor and get down. If you’re a good dancer, this is the one place where it’s cool to draw a crowd, because who’s going to ask a great dancer to get off the floor? These people have been drinking for hours; anything short of the African anteater ritual is bound to impress them!
Want to make this holiday party your own? I suggest strolling up to the DJ and putting in a request. Don’t be afraid of blowing your cover, he doesn’t know you, and as long as you do it with that confident smile you’re guaranteed success. If you’re really feeling froggy, why not make it a dedication? Just choose a name at random and say congratulations on a job well done this year. If you actually get people to clap that means you own the room and you can close the place down at the end of the night!
At this point, it’s probably getting late and everyone is starting to make their way out of the party. That doesn’t mean your night has to end. On your way out, stop by the coat-check desk and ask if the company is on the list at any nightclubs. They’ll probably have a couple V.I.P. passes handy, maybe a free drink ticket or too. Grab those for some late-night action, and don’t forget to pick up your photograph, you’ll want to enjoy this holiday memory for years to come.
Senior New Media Editor Jason R. Latham really enjoyed meeting everyone Saturday night.